Car Culture & Entertainment

Christine’s Back! 5 Cars That Should Play Her Role if the Remake is Set in the Present Day

While it’s one of the most iconic movie cars of all time, should Christine come back as a 1958 Plymouth Fury? (Image/Summit Racing)

News from Hollywood trickled out earlier this month that John Carpenter’s classic horror movie adaptation “Christine” is getting a remake.

Based on a novel by Steven King, “Christine” is essentially a love story about a young man and his possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury that occasionally murders some people.

And while rumors say that the new film will still take place sometime around 1980, we started thinking about all the vehicular possibilities if the remake has a more contemporary setting.

So we came up with a list of five solid choices for a “new” Christine if they decide to do a major reboot and set the film in 2021.

***

5 Cars That Should Play a Modern Christine

***

And it’s got plenty of room to haul auto parts for Darnell too! (Image/Stellantis)

5. 2006 Dodge Magnum SRT-8

If Christine is set anytime in the 21st century, Arnie should really be driving some sort of crossover or SUV. While we wince a bit at the thought of Christine being a grocery getter, we do think a Dodge Magnum SRT-8 would be a solid compromise. Staying in the Mopar family, the Hemi-powered SRT-8 won’t have any trouble avoiding a slow-moving bulldozer (or a septic truck, if ya read the book).

***

Do rampages have an adverse impact on battery range? (Image/GM)

4. 1996 General Motors EV1

OK, hear us out: Sometimes the best way to revive such a well-known character is to completely reinvent the role—just look at how many radically different iterations we’ve seen of Batman and Joker. And we couldn’t think of a bigger 180° than to go from a rip-snortin’ V8 to battery power. As an added bonus, without her sinister exhaust rumble, it’ll be easier for Christine to sneak-up on her victims.

***

It’s got “Itty Bitty Pretty One” on repeat in the CD player. (Image/Stellantis)

3. 2001 Plymouth Prowler

In the book, Christine was originally set in 1978, which meant that a 1958 Fury was 20 years old at the time. So it makes sense that if the remake is set in the present day, then the car should be from 2001. And if we’re sticking with Plymouth, then our options in 2001 were either the Neon, Breeze, Voyager, or the Prowler. So we went with the aptly-named Prowler here.

***

We’re calling this one “Repperton’s Revenge.” (Image/Summit Racing)

2. 1967 Chevy Camaro

Christine’s main antagonist is the school bully Buddy Repperton. In addition to picking on Arnie, he leads a gang that trashes Christine with sledgehammers. As you’d imagine, that was a mistake—and Christine not only gets even with Buddy, she obliterates his 1967 Chevy Camaro too (though in the book, Repperton drove a second-gen). We’re flipping the script here by casting the F-body in Christine’s place.

***

Well. Duh. (Image/Hylnder777, Creative Commons)

1. 1958 Plymouth Fury

Remaking Christine with anything other than an autumn red 1958 Plymouth Fury would be like replacing Jaws with a tuna fish. So they darn well better pick a classic Plymouth to fill the role. And while the special effects from Carpenter’s edition have aged pretty well, we’re excited to see some CG Mopar mayhem in the remake. The question remains though: will Christine still have an ear for 1950s bubblegum? Or will “Thriller” be blasting out of her radio this time? (We honestly don’t care as long as the soundtrack has some Carpenter-inspired synthwave goodness.)

***

Agree with our choices? Give us your thoughts in the comments!

Tags: , , , , ,

8 Comments

  1. I want to say it should be one of my all time favorites, but the market is already ridiculous and I don’t want to see it get worse.

  2. Thomas D Zingery says:

    PT cruiser with a hemi under the hood!

  3. Will Powell says:

    It would be a toss up between the camero or the magnum.

  4. Shaggy son says:

    What about using a 95 ram 4×4. christines brother seeks revenge.

  5. 1987 IROC Camero

  6. 2012 Lincoln MKZ should be on the list I think, just because it can look pretty sinister. The grill almost looks like big teeth anyways.

Leave a Reply to Shaggy son Cancel

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.