Here at OnAllCylinders, we’re well known for giving good car advice.
We’re not as well known for giving relationship advice.
That’s probably a good thing, because OnAllCylinders is not a relationship blog. But we can’t pretend our love for our hobby and our feelings for our significant other have never crossed paths.
Take Feb. 14, for example. If you live in the North, you might be stuck in the garage with snow outside. Not good driving conditions, but excellent conditions to crank up the garage heater and work on the car.
Except, it’s also Valentine’s Day. And while secluding ourselves to the garage all day or night might help us get a lot done in the valuable hours just before race and show car season, it might not make our counterpart very happy.
So we’ve made our best effort to provide five pieces of Valentine’s Day advice that are literally just for you – the gearhead.
Looks aren’t everything
If you’re into sleepers, you already know this to be true. Beauty is only skin deep. If, beneath that weathered skin, you have a 429, a 454, or a HEMI, you’re in much better shape than the shiny young buck packing a watered-down 4-cylinder.
Take things SLOWWW
While fast is always better, you need time to break this honey in. Make sure it’s right for you. Learn how to drive it. Pressing the gas too aggressively might backfire. There’s a lot to be learned about approaching a new relationship the right way, and a few great tips about properly breaking in your engine.
We’re not here to tell you how to bathe. But proper hygiene can go a long way. For crying out loud, clean the grease off your hands before you go on that date tonight! You wouldn’t throw a freshly-machined crate engine in your car without proper cleaning. Don’t expect to woo your lady while smelling like a junkyard.
If you like it then you need to put a ring on it
Thank you, Beyonce, for making that nauseating song echo through our heads at every wedding reception we have ever attended. But its insufferable line, “All the Single Ladies,” identifies exactly what your lady might be if you don’t eventually make a commitment.
Far from us to tell you to make a decision that might affect the rest of your life. But just like your pistons need a ring, your lady eventually does if you want her to stick around.
Nothing is stronger than love…except a Big Block
OK, that one’s tough to argue with…
So now you have our advice.
But if you DO find yourself single this Valentine’s Day, don’t worry…
I have both, she loves me, and my car, truck, and bike!
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