Father’s Day is Sunday.
Hopefully, you’ve picked out a nice Father’s Day gift for your old man in return for all the wisdom he’s gifted you with over the years. I mean seriously—where would we all be without wise advice like:
“Measure twice, cut once.”
“If it ain’t broke, don’t mess with it.”
And “Weed killer doesn’t go in cars.”
Summit Racing recently asked its Facebook friends to share some of their favorite advice from dad and received hundreds of responses. From that, we present our first annual “Dad’s Advice Awards” to our 20 favorite pearls of wisdom.
Winners get nothing—except the satisfaction of sharing these life-altering tips with fellow gearheads:
Disclaimer: some advice was edited for language and crudeness. Sinners.
Best Practical Advice Award (4-Way Tie)
“If you want to drive it, you better learn how to fix it.” – Doug M.
“Clean up and put tools away when done. Still do it to this day!” – Chris H.
“Let’s step back and look at this from a different perspective.” – Alex K.
“If you get aggravated, just walk away.” – Brian P.
The Common Theme Award (Tie)
“Don’t sell the ’55 Chevy (My first car…..should have listened!)” – Bill B.
“Don’t ever sell your first car, especially if it’s a Chevy muscle car.” – Steven U.
The “Tank Half Full” Award
“It’s just as easy to keep the top half of the gas tank filled as it is the bottom half.” – Steve E.
The “Not That I’d Know” Award
“Never park a hot car on a bed of leaves!” – Sal C.
The “Captain Obvious” Award
“Weed killer doesn’t go in cars.” – Luke G.
The Distracted Driving Award
“Having a beautiful woman in the passenger seat may keep your eyes off the highway so always pay attention to the road first, lady later.” – T.L. Stevens
The Father of the Year Award
“If you race it, crash it, and don’t die…I’ll kill you myself…haha good times.” – James M.
The Fatherhood Preservation Award
“Don’t grab the coil wire while the engine is running…unless you don’t want kids!” – Duane F.
The Michael Scott “That’s What She Said” Award
“Bigger is not always better.” – Tohang Racing Performance
The “Famous Last Words” Award
”Dude, it’ll fit.” – UnderCover Tonneau Covers
The “Aw, Dad!” Award
“You will never lose your virginity driving that…!” – Nick Y.
The Frank Hawley Driving School Award
“Pretend you’re stepping on a roach under the gas pedal; that’s how you win races.” – Tony A.
The Master Mechanic Award (Tie)
“If the car makes a funny noise, turn the stereo up and see if it goes away.” – Tracy P.
“Get a bigger hammer.” – David F.
The “After Further Review, That Seems About Right” Award:
“If it’s fast and cheap it won’t be clean. If it’s cheap and clean it won’t be fast. And if it’s clean and fast it won’t be cheap.” – Daniel J.
The EPA’s Choice Award
“Don’t pour the old oil out under the grapefruit tree.” – Bob R.
Those are our awards for this year. Obviously, we didn’t touch on the endless amounts of great advice—car-related and otherwise—that dads share on a daily basis. Thanks to all the dads out there—enjoy your Father’s day!