Tomorrow morning, as you’re cleaning up the remnants of Santa Claus’ milk and cookies and thanking him for all the wonderful new toys he delivered, be sure to throw in an extra shoutout to Clement C. Moore.
“Who?” You may not know him by name, but you almost certainly recognize his words. The classic 1823 poem A Visit from St. Nicholas—colloquially known as ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas—is attributed to Moore, and it’s probably the reason your nanna hooks you up with some sweet new slipper socks every year.
The poem is responsible for conceptualizing many of the modern features and characteristics associated with Santa, from his use of chimneys to his sack of toys. And while festive legend had previously associated St. Nicholas with reindeer, it was Moore’s poem that gave them the names we know them by today.
Over the years, and through many appearances in film, TV and other forms of fiction, each of Santa’s original eight named reindeer have come to be associated with their own characteristics and personality traits—traits that, frankly, remind us of a few vehicles we love.
It got us thinking, what if each of Santa’s reindeer was a vehicle instead of just being an animal inclined to jump in front of one? What kind of vehicle would they be? Here’s our best guess.
Dasher (Chevrolet Corvette Z06)
Dasher’s name says it all. He (or she?) is often cited as the fastest of Santa’s reindeer, and the name demands a ride to match. With a blistering 0-60 mph time of 2.6 seconds, the latest iteration of the Chevy’s Z06 is that ride.
Dancer (Mazda Miata)
Whereas Dasher is about all-out speed, Dancer is nimble, agile and light on his feet, making the Mazda Miada the perfect counterpart. It may not win you a drag race, but you’ll be hard pressed to find something more fun and expressive on a winding road.
Prancer (Ferrari 250 Testa Rossa)
As the glitziest and most glamorous of Santa’s reindeer, what better vehicle to represent Prancer than a vehicle that literally uses a prancing horse for a logo? Ferrari’s classic Testa Rossa isn’t the fastest ride on this list, nor is it the quickest, but it is certainly the showiest.
Vixen (Mercedes-Benz Model 540K)
Sleek, sultry, sophisticated and full of surprises, this classic Mercedes-Benz is a perfect comp for Vixen. Vixen has a reputation in some fictional accounts for being a natural entertainer, one who is specifically a fan of the art of illusion and magic. We’d certainly love to make this ride disappear—and reappear in our own garage.
Comet (Ford F-150 Truck)
When it comes to Santa’s reindeer, Comet is old reliable. This easy-going, do-it-all workhorse of Santa’s team is ready to tackle any job under any circumstances, just like Ford’s market-leading F-Series pickup.
Cupid (Volkswagen Bus)
As the most affectionate and social of Santa’s reindeer, Cupid is always ready to spend quality time with all his friends. What better way to do that than with a ton of passenger space? If ever there was a better ride than the VW Bus to represent “the more the merrier” we haven’t met it.
Donner (Porsche 911 GT3 RS)
Donner has gone through the most name changes of all of Santa’s reindeer, but all of them derive from the Dutch word for thunder. Donner is brash and boisterous, much like the 911 GT3 RS. In a 2021 article, Car and Driver ranked it as the loudest coupe it ever tested, hitting 108 decibels inside the cabin at full speed. Good luck finding a stock vehicle more thunderous than that.
Blitzen (Jeep Wrangler)
What’s thunder without a little lightning? Similar to Donner, Bitzen’s name is derived from the Dutch word for lightning, and similar to lightning, Blitzen never likes to strike the same place twice. As the most adventurous reindeer on Santa’s team, Blitzen pushes the limits and strives for spontaneity. If there’s one vehicle synonymous with both of those things, it’s the Jeep Wrangler.