How many times have you been driving down the road, eating a humdrum cold-cut turkey sandwich, wishing you had a quick and convenient way to give it the light toasting it desperately needs? No? Are we just projecting here?

Okay, how about this scenario. You’ve got your car or truck sitting in the shop, ready to be worked on, but the idea of disconnecting all those wires and hoses is just so deflating. If only you could do it instantly…

You certainly can’t tell us you’ve never been driving your ride from a bygone era, pulled into a parking space and thought, “I really wish my vehicle would alert me when I get too close to the wheel stop, like the ones with those newfangled carputers.”

If any of these describe you, you’re in luck. Our friends over at Summit Racing have released a range of new and exclusive products only available today, April 1, a day that in no way aligns with any significant, internationally recognized, prank-related tradition. In fact, just forget we even mentioned it.

Without further ado, here are some of the new products:

Heavy Duty Potato Mashers

Manually mashing potatoes can be a time-intensive process. That is, unless you own one of these industrial-strength beauties. Tackle inflexible Idahos, relentless Russets, and unyielding Yukon Golds with ease. Optional yam adapter sold separately.

Analog Backup Cameras

Get all the capability of a powerful backup camera, with no batteries or complex electrical hookup required. After a quick manual adjustment, these analog backup cameras provide a high-resolution, real-time view of what’s behind you. Please note, they may not be compatible with Italian sports cars.

Vintage Parking Sensors

Finishing a vehicle restoration? Then you’ll need a set of these vintage-style parking sensors. Made specifically for maneuvering in tight spaces, these sensors will give you an audible, crunchy warning sound when you exceed the anticipated boundaries of your parking space.

Anti-Theft Devices

Perhaps the best way to thwart would-be thieves is to present them with an extra pedal on the floor. Plus, instead of an intuitive P, R, and D, these anti-theft devices ditch the alphabet in favor of a numerical sequence of forward directions. You’ll never lock your doors again.

Heavy Duty Hose & Wiring Disconnectors

In the history of engine swaps, no motor has ever been completely disconnected the first time. These handy tools will test the tensile strength of every one of those remaining connections. More importantly, they will help you quickly disconnect any remaining hoses, pigtails, and light-duty brackets.

Hood-Mount Sandwich Warmer

Tired of eating cold, soggy lunches? A hood-mount sandwich warmer gives you miles of toasty meals. Plus, it’s not just for sandwiches. There’s enough space in there to heat pizza, waffles, and brisket, among other things. Summit Racing suggests you skip the pasta, though.

Continuously Variable Tie-Downs

Make your life simpler with new and advanced continuously variable tie-downs. CVT technology is designed to maintain optimum tension at all times, regardless of what you’re hauling. Sure, they’re not great for heavy loads and your friends keep reminding you that they’re soulless compared to good old-fashioned cam buckles, but they get the job done.

Stage 3 Weight Reduction Tools

Any experienced racer will tell you that, to get the most performance from your vehicle, you’ve got to shed some weight. These helpful tools can quickly and effectively reduce the weight of virtually any vehicle component. However, they are not recommended for plumbing or electrical systems.

Floor Jack Wheel Chocks

What’s the best way to stop a jack from rolling around the shop floor? Lay one of these down. These wheel restraint systems are time-tested and proven to completely stop a rolling jack dead in its tracks. The chocks work equally well on dollies and creepers—really, anything that rolls on casters.

Permanent Dent Removal Tools

Got a deep dent on your front fender? Unsightly scuff marks on the hood? These versatile tools can completely eliminate the problem and make sure it doesn’t come back. After all, you can’t have a a dent where matter doesn’t exist. Stop dents now and in the future.

Thumb Locators

Ever lose sight of your thumb and wonder where it could be? A simple swing of this helpful device will likely find it. And with a little practice, you’ll be able to use if for the rest of your hand as well. It requires little to no maintenance. Select the size of your device based on how badly you need to find your thumb.

Premium Replacement Ring Toss Rings

Don’t limit yourself to the cheap, plastic ring toss rings that came with your set. Take your next family game night to a whole new level of fun with these replacement ring, manufactured from high-quality, aerodynamic steel. Rest assured, they will fly further and faster. Notably, Summit Racing recommends adding a first aid kit to your purchase.

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Author: Will Schertz

Will is a contributing writer for OnAllCylinders. His automotive writing career stretches back longer than a decade and includes a stint as senior reporter for one of the tire industry’s largest trade publications. He enjoys long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, and thinly veiled sarcasm. Will lives with his beautiful wife and two small humans who steal his food and "need" more LEGOs.