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Feb 12 2014

Winter Games (Event #3): Cross-Country Skiing – Best Road Trip Vehicle

Cross-country

 

If getting there is half the fun, then not all road-trip vehicles are created equal.

Rusty Griswold: “Dad, this is not the car you ordered!”

Clark Griswold: “Settle down, Russ. Let me handle this. Ed, uh… this is not the car I ordered. I distinctly ordered the Antarctic Blue Super Sports Wagon with the C.B. and optional rally fun pack.”

Ed, the car salesman: “You didn’t order the Metallic Pea?”

Clark: “Metallic Pea?”

Maybe you like vans. Cruising bikes. Convertibles. Or even Antarctic Blue station wagons.

There’s really no right or wrong way for the masses. There’s only the right or wrong way for you.

Do you want to feel the wind blow? Do you want to keep the entire family safe and together? Or, do you want to chill in the back of the VW bus?

Very prestigious medals are at stake in the OnAllCylinders Winter Games. And only you can decide which vehicles will earn them.

None of our Cross-Country (Best Road Trip) vehicles can keep up with that girl in the Ferrari. But if you make the right choice, maybe she’ll hit the brakes just for you.

(Editor’s note: You might want to play this YouTube clip for musical accompaniment, but not watch the creepy video while reading the rest of this.)

The Contenders

Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser

1971 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser

The Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser earned a new legion of fans when Eric Forman started driving his friends around in one as part of That ‘70s Show.

The Vista Cruiser was produced by General Motors from 1964-1977, and was about one thing—hauling lots of people and things.

In style?

That’s for you to decide.

Cadillac Eldorado

1961 Cadillac Eldorado

With a drop top, of course.

We’re not messing around. This two-door luxury machine turned heads every day of its existence, beginning with its first appearance in 1953.

Pick any year of the Cadillac Eldorado you want! To prove we have exquisite taste, we’re rolling with the 1961.

Christy Brinkley (the 1983 version) may just pull over for that one.

Clark Griswold: “Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?”

Volkswagen Bus

VW party bus

You don’t need to ingest a bunch of psychedelic substances or be a wannabe musician on your way to San Francisco to appreciate the unique beauty of this party wagon, err… cross-country vehicle.

The rear-engine classic from Volkswagen was first introduced in 1950 and became iconic during the counterculture movement of the 1960s.

We guess you can pick something silly like a 1990s Eurovan version if you really want. You know? Where they put the engine in the front.

But we’ll judge you. We’ll point and judge and think you make bad choices.

But we’ll do it privately because we don’t want to make you feel bad.

Honda Gold Wing

Honda Gold Wing

Maybe you like riding solo.

Maybe you like having somebody sit right behind you.

Maybe you only like two-wheeled vehicles.

Doesn’t matter.

But the Honda Gold Wing does. The Honda motorcycle been a mainstay on highways worldwide since they started coming out of Honda factories back in the 1970s.

We consider it the iconic cross-country motorcycle, and if riding is your thing, it would seem the obvious choice over the other contenders.

But you tell us, please.

 

Clark Griswold: “I’m just trying to treat my family to a little fun.”

Ellen Griswold: “Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you’ll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us a thousand miles out of the way to see the world’s largest pile of mud!”

 

Chevrolet Suburban

1955 Chevy Suburban

Really, any reliable SUV will do. But we settled on the venerable Chevy Suburban which is the longest continuous use vehicle nameplate in existence. The Suburban was first introduced in 1933.

And it’s never not been awesome.

Whether you’re hot-rodding in a classic, or cruising in the luxury of a brand new war wagon, the Suburban delivers style AND space unlike any other vehicle on the road.

They’re like vans. Only they look awesome and take advantage of a truck chassis to drive over mountains.

If we had unlimited money, we’d have one from every generation.

Clark Griswold: “Roy… can I call you Roy? Have you even driven cross-country?”

Roy Walley: “Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst two weeks I ever spent in my life. The smell from the back seat was terrible.”

Clark Griswold: “Ooooh. Ooooh, I know that smell. Roy, could you imagine if you had driven all the way to Florida and it was closed?”

Roy Walley: “Closed? Uh, they don’t close Florida.”

 

Vote for your gold medal winner in the comments below!

 

 

 

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